I'm so sorry I judged you.

*I wrote this (and lots lots more that I've given up on trying to post chronologically) sometime in the first 12? weeks of Luca's life. Idk it's blurry back there!*

I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror this morning as I was hustling to shave another second off my bathroom time. (That's essentially like sprint training right? When's the mom olympics?) I commented to myself that I look like I'd been rescued from a shipwreck, but honestly I'm totally ok with this. I'm soaking up every crazy second. Ok, not everyyyy one but I'm trying to. Everyday is a milestone. Everything is a milestone. I mean every coo and movement feels new and special right? That first smile? Stop it. Take it all. My heart, every cent I've got, my fashion sense, my ability to shower, just take it all and give me those smiles. The immeasurable love, that was expected. But the pride, not as much.

I totally used to judge the moms that would post how proud they were of their preschool or kindergarten graduates. I loved seeing the pictures but would think proud, really?  Like come on, it's kindergarten. Wellllll I was ecstatic the other day when L soothed himself back to sleep for kind of the first time. So essentially I celebrated the fact that he opened and then not long after closed his eyes. Essentially blinking, a reflex even. Yep I was so proud. So don't you worry I'll probably throw a cocktail reception when he graduates kindergarten.

Yesterday, he rolled over for the first time. It was basically an act of gravity where holding his head up forced the roll, but there's video proof that I squealed away like Minnie Mouse.  I mean he did do it THREE times in a row and his great grandmother tells me that is very advanced, so there.

But yeah, my apologies to those proud  kindergarten graduate mommas. Post away my friends and write paragraphs about your pride because god knows I'll probably write a book about it by the time that comes. I'm wiser now, ain't no pride like momma pride. I'll make sure to invite you to the gala in about 5 years. 

*it's closer to 4 years now and I just cried.*