Say no to the dress

It's the Tuesday after a long weekend and I'm going to take one for the proverbial team here, you're welcome.

Ladies, I can't imagine a single one of you has never felt this panic. Well let me assure you that it is not a good idea to try on your wedding dress while home alone with a baby. I never preserved mine and it hangs unprotected in my office closet. So I see her (Annabelle) pretty often and wonder does she? Could she? I daydream about dusting the house in her. Don't worry I wouldn't actually waste such a moment dusting.

Luca was napping, Nick wasn't home and for some reason it seemed like the perfect time. I was already too committed when I remembered it had to go over my head. That might not have always been the case but my memory is protecting my child bearing hips. (How do you say that in past tense, beared? Born? I've been up since a time beginning in 4, I'm not looking it up. Forgive me) Once I realized this was the case I knew how this story would end but I'm so freaking stubborn. So so stubborn.

It took a little convincing to clear the hurdles on my chest but then I felt it. The undeniable catch. We weren't going any farther down and of course we couldn't any longer go back up. The law of motion is what goes up must come down, not vice versa. I knew the panic was moments from setting in so I tried a quick and forceful tug to see if we could escape but obviously I wouldn't have taken you this far if that was the case. I eyed the scissors on my desk but I'm far far far too sentimental to consider that as an actual option.

I almost took a picture but turns out I do have a few ounces of pride left. I peeked down at the baby monitor and quickly calculated how long I had to figure this out before I was stuck in my wedding dress and also trying to care for my child. My sisterneighbor was away so I knew I couldn't call her. I heard the clank of the uhual as our new neighbors unloaded some more of their stuff. I can see it now, hi I'm Chelsea, welcome to the neighborhood. Mind helping me out of this ol' wedding dress here?! Totally casual like no big deal, happens all the time.

Then it got really dramatic like well this is it. I can't breathe but I did love my dress. It will be easy to bury me in it when I DIE RIGHT NOW. That'll show Nick what I think about him playing in a poker tournament on a holiday weekend. But then a little sighing on the monitor reminded me that this wouldn't be how I'll end up on dateline after all and I need to figure my way out asap. I was able to slightly and painfully flatten aforementioned hurdles as I'm imagining a mammogram to do and somehow stretching my arms like the Armstrong himself, I was freed.

Maybe just maybe I can take the stubbornness down a notch or ten.

Good news though, my veil still fits.

I'll be dusting in that later.