Hiiiiiii there. It's been all too quiet up in here, sorry bout that! There's been a good amount of writing, but it's still just a bit toooooo raw to hit publish if I'm being honest. Usually once I get writing it all comes out and well sometimes we gotta just hit save draft for now. Anywho, it's like 6am and those that know me know there's just about nothing I want to do or say at this hour but today is different.
When I think about life changing days, they're mostly unexpected. When something so significant happens your life is never ever the same, you didn't even see it coming. So none of the pre emotion really happens because bam it happens, you figure out how to deal.
So what am I blabbering on about anyways? Well today we find out the gender of baby B! I know I haven't even written about that whole being pregnant thing, we will be get there another day. I mean that life changing day surprised the shit out of me. There wasn't really an ounce of me that thought that day was going to be that day. So that's what I mean, today is going to be a day. For some reason finding out if this little person growing inside of me is a boy or a girl just makes me feel like I get a sneak preview into the rest of my life. I know once it's confirmed a little highlight reel of this little person and what they are going to look like, act like, sound like, be like will just rush through my mind! Sure it's going to be full of plenty of preconceived notions and gender stereotypes that I'm not all about but it's going to happen. I'm going to have a vision of what I'm cooking in there!! I already understand that rule #1 of parenting is whatever you expect to happen, well jokes on you. I get that. I'm also not on board with "girls do this, boys do this" so I'm not envisioning signing anyone up for years of ballet or baseball tonight but come on. Boys and girls are different!! (This is the whole defensive part of pregnancy I'm not so fond of. I'm already defending the judgement that someone is having about me picturing the life of my boy or girl. Egh. Moving on, that's a topic for another day).
So do I have a feeling? Not an ounce. Gun to my head, I couldn't give you 51% of me thinks it's one or the other. Where the heck is my mommy instinct?! I don't think a single person has said anything other than girl. I'm fairly certain that's because I have a jewelry & accessories business and they think that I could only possibly produce a girl. So for that reason only, I'm going boy. Someone has to vote boy, right?
So what I'm trying to say is I'mreallyfreakingexcited. And terrified of course. Because that's what change brings right? When you see it coming!
****wrote this little gem right on the ol iPhone and not getting out of bed to make sure it looks right, so we're just going for it!